Some questions are perfectly suited to explore during an ad
break on tv. A few of my personal favourites include “Would you like me to get
you a tim-tam and a blanket?” or “Would you like me to massage your shoulders
until the show comes back on?” or “Gosh it’s amazing how much you fit into
every day.” Ok the last one is actually a statement but I really like the
sentiment. Perfect tv questions are generally conducive to short conversations
that can easily cease the minute Homeland
returns. And then there are other
questions. Questions so big that answering them requires turning the television
off, boiling the jug and settling in for the long haul.
And so it was when Mr G recently asked “How are you feeling
about having another baby?” The long and detailed response I gave then is moot
now so rather than mulling the hypothetical I can tell you, at this early
stage, how I am actually feeling about being a mother of two gorgeous girls.
Lots of words immediately spring to mind. Grateful. Happy. Tired. Lucky. Relieved. Empowered. Did I say tired???
For your benefit I’m going to put my fogginess aside to try writing some
actual sentences now because I’m guessing a post full of single, unrelated
words would make for uninspiring reading material?
First up, a few weeks ago I celebrated the existence of maternity leave
and it is now time to give a very warm
round of applause to its lovely sibling; paternity leave. How any new parent
could get through the early days and weeks without a partner on hand is beyond
me. If you have done that or know anyone who has please give yourself, or them,
a HUGE hug from me and then shout yourself a Chinese massage and a large slab of
Rocklea Road. Because you deserve it and more. For now paternity
leave means Mr G is on hand in the NABM household for another few weeks which
makes for a happy home. It means we have some time to enjoy our new family and
get to know the lovely Miss L without the reality of work.
And let me tell you, in the eyes of her besotted and biased
mum, Miss L is just lovely. She is a
tiny, soft, sweet and adorable bundle with whom we have fallen utterly in love.
I am reliving my awe at newborn babies all over again; I still find it bewildering that anyone’s body is capable
of growing a perfectly formed little baby, let alone, my own.
And then there is that truly remarkable moment when you meet the tiny person
who blossomed in your bump. For me the bond with each of my baby girls wasn’t
strong or real until I actually met them. Then it was different; there was a
face, a name and a person to whom my love could attach.
It’s like my heart
undergoes a spontaneous, slap-dash renovation and quickly erects a large new
wing ready to be filled with love. It’s obviously not furnished or decorated because
the finer details of the love are yet to take form but it’s there and it’s lovely. And
it grows with every feed, with every stroke of their soft skin, with every bath
and every interaction.
Lots of people warned me that having two children is a big
step up in terms of logistics. That family life gets very real when the number
of children equals, or exceeds, the number of adults in the household. We are
at adult to child equilibrium now and whilst I wouldn’t describe it as a
leisure lifestyle I will say this; going from one child to two is NOTHING
compared to going from no children to one. Bringing Miss I home for the first
time was terrifying. Everything about
being responsible for a baby for the first time was daunting. Second time
around is different. The task itself isn’t any different – feed, bathe, dress, feed,
change, settle, feed and repeat every few hours for a few months – but the
angst and fear is no longer a big deal. I guess the fact we are already accustomed
to caring for another small person around the clock has helped makes this transition
easier*.
Having said that it also means this time we have the adjustment and
well-being of another little person to consider which throws a different
dynamic in the mix. How Miss I would handle the new addition was something I
thought about a lot towards the end of my pregnancy. My thoughts didn’t achieve
much but my suspicions that it would probably be one of the harder parts of
bringing a new baby home were well founded. Miss I is madly in love with her
new sister; her eyes light up when she sees her, she forever asks for cuddles and
kisses which she bestows with varying degrees of force affection and she
tells her “We’re nearly home L” if we’re in the car and Miss L is crying. It is
heart-bursting stuff. But. Remember that see-saw I talk about when looking after little people?
That. On steroids. The highs and lows are faster and less predictable than ever
before which, funnily enough, creates something of a see-saw for my own emotions.
But so far we are all in one piece and despite the odd bump
when the see-saw thrashes us downwards life is a lot like Miss L. Just lovely.
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