Tiny terrorists

Forgive me, dear readers, for I am about to sin. It is not nice to boast and it's particularly tiresome to boast about your own offspring but I cannot not share this with you. She is not yet three but it is already abundantly clear that our beloved Miss I is gifted. Obviously as her mother I am biologically wired to view her abilities with rose tinted glasses but I promise even an objective bystander would very reasonably reach the very same conclusion. 

She already sports the unmistakable combination of traits of a person capable of creating international headlines. Should she choose to pursue it, and goodness knows Miss I only pursues what she chooses, a bright future awaits her in the field of terrorism. And, again, reluctant as I am to brag, I suspect she would be best suited to a position right at the top of the tree. The dictator, the top dog, the chief controller.

I know this because for some time she has expertly, effortlessly really, occupied that mantel in the NABM household. Now I know it is hard to extrapolate from a small family of four to the entire universe but pop over for half an hour and I defy you to reach a different conclusion. The girl is made for it.

At the conclusion of a recent long weekend (not the variety where the government bestow a holiday on the Australian public just the variety that regularly reign when you are responsible for two small children) Mr G asked a telling question. "Do you feel like we've been held hostage by Miss I all weekend?" Save the 'weekend' bit and he was bang on. 

There are days, even weeks, when living with Miss I is not dissimilar to living with a terrorist with a bomb strapped to her chest; one wrong step and the whole place is engulfed in flames. Whilst selfishly this can make for trying times I have to remind myself that it's valuable experience in her future line of work. 

From what I understand there is no room for equivocating when you're a dictator zealously committed to dragging a large population towards your ideology. When it comes to terror, deviations from the dictator's rulebook simply aren't tolerated. And so it is if, for example, the wrong person attempts to strap Miss I in the pram. Or her mum speaks to her dad in the car without her express consent. Or someone suggests that plane is not pronounced 'Mal'. Or ravioli, I mean 'raviolo', is not served for every meal every day. Or someone drives too fast. Or someone drives too slow.  Truly, her eye for detail when it comes to departures from her master plan is extraordinary. 

Come to think of it, so is her unwavering commitment to her personal beliefs regardless of their relationship to reality. (Yet another quality which will no doubt lend itself nicely to any organisation harbouring extremist ideologies.) When one of Miss I's rules is infringed the offending party is punished severely. No questions asked. No logic considered. No matter how big or small the offence may reasonably be considered in the eyes of the offending party, the punishment is the same. 

Whilst some people have to learn how to implement personal boundaries Miss I was born to enforce them. With zero tolerance. It is quite breathtaking. But I can't lie to you; raising a child so obviously gifted in her aptitude for inflicting terror certainly makes some days tricky. But who am I to stand in the way of nature's clear intentions? Besides, even if I wanted to, I wouldn't get it past my household's answer to Pol Pot would I?

Instead I just take it in my stride and wait for the day she can channel her iron clad will into something more worthwhile than resisting a bath. In the meantime I'm also hoping and praying and crossing all my fingers and toes, that Miss L is cut out for something entirely different. Like meditating. Aside from benefitting me I imagine that would also stand her in good stead when it comes to hosting a support group for siblings-of-terrorists. Goodness knows that's only a matter of time. 

Do you have any budding terrorists in your life? Or are your children gifted in any fun ways? Like following instructions or occasionally considering reason?