A twin tribute

This is an overdue tribute to one of my dearest friends who is currently tackling an extraordinary feat. It started less than a year ago when she discovered - to her complete surprise - she was carrying twins. She handled the news with incredible grace and humour which she miraculously maintained throughout her pregnancy. Twelve weeks ago, after a remarkable effort managing a double pregnancy whilst caring for her two year old, Harry* and her husband welcomed their beautiful new bundles into the world. Predictably the welcome bit did not involve their two bambinos knocking on the family door, strolling in with a ready-packed nappy bag slung over their shoulder, waving at their big brother and making themselves comfortable in their new digs. But once again with grace, humour and phenomenal strength Harry emerged unscathed and set about settling her babies into life in the outside world.

Having experienced how daunting and relentless the task of nurturing for a single newborn feels in those early days and weeks, I actually cannot compute how anyone does it with two  as well as a toddler. But Harry and her husband, with the support of their families, have and are. There have understandably been tears and minor meltdowns along the way but they are coping and even smiling. I suspect this will be one of the toughest tasks Harry and her husband will face. It’s demanding terrain – both physically and emotionally – and already I think they have ample reason to be unashamedly proud.

At many points throughout their journey I have been overwhelmed with admiration and respect for what this gorgeous family are doing and the way in which they’re doing it.  I was in Brisbane on the weekend and caught up with Harry in person for the second time since her family of three became a family of five. And, for the second time, I walked away in complete awe. When Harry delivered the twins I actually felt a bit heroic simply by proxy of knowing her. Everyone in my office was aware of my Extraordinary Friend’s achievement. Whether they liked it or not they knew the weight, order and names of these babies. And that SOMEONE I KNEW HAD GROWN AND DELIVERED THEM.

And this brings me to something else a bit remarkable about my friend. You see if I was her I would have t-shirts printed, posters erected and email signatures reading “My life is currently a hell of a lot harder than yours. I grew and delivered two tiny babies and am now feeding, bathing and caring for them whilst also feeding, bathing and caring for my super active toddler so frankly whatever you are doing is EASY by comparison.”

She hasn’t done or even said that. Even in private conversations with me she doesn’t insinuate that with one toddler my load is pretty jammy. Amazingly, I suspect that’s because she doesn’t even think that. Or she hasn’t had time to. Either way, in lieu of her not broadcasting the champion job she is doing, I thought I should. It’s hard to compare one person’s challenges with another’s because everything in life is relative. Even still, I struggle to imagine a more overwhelming job than looking after infant twins with a toddler. Particularly because, as you know, there are days when I think looking after a toddler alone can be pretty tough. So, Harry, you are my hero. And if you’d like me to print posters, just say the word.    

*This is not her real name. It is however her real nickname that bears no resemblance to her actual name. Though, once again, if I was her I’d have my full name printed with an address for fan mail.