Hello!! Remember me?!? I’m the blogger who always makes you feel better about your
own life simply by virtue of it not being mine. Ok that’s not strictly true -
there are parts of my life that are lovely. But, if you’re really honest, you probably read most of
my posts and think ‘Thank the Lord/Buddha/the
gods of rocky road/mascara/wine/sleep I’m not her’.
And, if you don’t, I promise you would if you could watch even
a small highlights package from the past six or so weeks. Things. Have. Been.
CRAZY. I have been back battling the urban jungle in the only way
I seem to know how – with calamity - and the travesty has been I haven’t even had
time to blog about it. I mean, that’s basically the whole point of having a
blog, having somewhere to constructively channel life’s disasters. Instead I’ve
been stuck just living them.
So let me tell you that not being another blogging mother
isn’t nearly as much fun as being Not Another Blogging Mother!! I have never
had more material for this blog than I have in recent weeks which is the very reason
I have never had less time to write here. Every cliché you have ever heard
about people combining work and small children? I’m living all of them. At any given
point in time I have about fifty balls in the air and I run around all day
trying to keep them from crashing around me.
The funny thing is though, from the outside, my life doesn’t
always look as chaotic as it actually is. It’s almost like I live parallel
lives. I thought this the other morning as I sat on a full bus on the way to
work. From the outside I looked just like most of my fellow commuters; fairly
respectable, dressed in work clothes, with hair brushed and some make-up hastily
applied. Beneath the surface? Different story.
I had been up since 4.30am (Miss L’s current favourite time
to start the day) after being in and out of Miss I’s room all night (double ear
infection). Since 6am I had been wrangling two unhappy little girls, the
highlights of which included administering antibiotics into a wholly
uncooperative three year old and trying to prepare three bowls of breakfast
with one hand whilst also holding and attempting to soothe a fractious, tired
and hungry ten month old. I showered and dressed myself in under five minutes
but spent 30 minutes negotiating and cajoling the girls into their clothes. All
the while I was expecting a knock on the door from our neighbours
to discuss the girls’ overnight festivities.
I mentally high-fived myself about thirty times for the fact
I didn’t need to get the girls out of the house – I just counted the minutes til our divine and delightful
nanny turned up. After doing a handover with her, I then raced out
the door and started thinking about the half a dozen stories that I would need
to edit, write and publish that morning.
I was also still getting over the shock and trauma of doing
a whole Woolworths shop the day before WITHOUT MY WALLET. (And just for future
reference if you ever do that, no they won’t accept payment with your credit
card details that you have displayed on your iPad right in front of them or a
bank transfer, also right in from of them. Not even if there is a screaming
baby in the trolley and a nearly-crying mother at the cashier. They will insist
you go home and return later. By which point you will also have your toddler
with you and they will have, helpfully, lost half your shop which you will then
have to do again. FUN!!!)
Anyway I was shattered and I sat there on the bus and marvelled
that none of my fellow passengers would have cause to be aware of the zoo that
my home life, just a few moments earlier entailed. I felt like a fraud, like I
should have disclosed “If you think I look
like a normal person going about life with ease – WRONG. Wrongity. Wrong. Wrong.
Wrong. You should see where I’ve just left!” Except I then realised that the
same would apply to them.
I mean, their personal dramas might come in a different
shape or size to mine (surely the chances are slim that two people on the same
bus would have gone to a supermarket the day before without a wallet???) but
whatever commotion their personal life might entail was invisible to me. To me,
they all looked like perfectly ordinary, functioning adults without a care in
the world. And, though I doubt anyone actually looked up from their iPhone to
do this, if they had they probably would have concluded the same about me.
And for some reason realising that made me feel better. We
all have double lives – what we present on the outside doesn’t always mirror
what’s happening on the inside. Different settings require different
approaches. And the fact that for ten minutes a few times a week I look like
any other commuter – unencumbered by anything other than the bus meandering
along the road - just waiting to get to work? I like that. Truth be told it’s
the most relaxing part of my week.
So. That’s me! How are you??? What have you been doing??? I
wish I could say I was back for good but the truth is I’m probably not so I
will just blog when I can.
