As I recently disclosed my age here you might not
be surprised to hear that weddings are something of a de rigueur event at this
point in my life. Aside from their regularity, however, there has been nothing
regular about them. Since Mr G and I returned to Australia a little over a year ago
we’ve had the excellent fortune to attend several spectacular weddings. (For
the record they are proving somewhat restorative in repairing the deep emotional scars I still bear from missing out on
THAT wedding).
The weddings to
which I have been invited were not spectacular in the Westminster Abbey and
fireworks sense but were spectacularly filled with love, hope and joy. So happy
and sincere that for weeks afterwards I have felt uplifted and inspired.
Weddings, and brides in particular, sometimes attract cynicism and criticism.
For being over the top, for being too consumed with one day, for being
indulgent or showy. The list goes on. While I have no doubt there are instances
where that might be true, I can happily report that from my sample study, those
instances are the anomaly.
I have sat in various chapels, stood in a garden, assembled
in a courtyard and perched on a haystack outside a tiny country church and watched
happy couples smile, laugh and radiate newlywed bliss. Every time goose-bumps
tickle my arms and tears prickle my eyes. Not because I believe a wedding is
the end, or the beginning, of a fairytale. I’m old enough to know ‘happily ever
after’ represents nothing more than a convenient way to end a Disney tale. However. In my mind that doesn’t detract one
iota from the fact that weddings are the most romantic and joyous of celebrations.
In some ways it just reinforces everything that is romantic about deciding to
marry. The very fact marriage is not one long fairytale makes getting to the
aisle or the garden gazebo, having made the decision to wed one another irrespective,
a significant feat.
Regardless of the history preceding the day, a wedding marks
the beginning of something new. But for lots of people my age, their wedding is
also a celebration of the history leading up to the day too. None of the
weddings we’ve attended lately were the result of a fleeting courtship. They
have been the culmination of a considerable amount of time spent together.
That’s no more a guarantee of longevity than a brief romance is a guarantee of
failure, but it stands for something. And it’s one of the reasons tears inevitably
well in my eyes when I watch two friends, who have forged a relationship
through friendship, love, trials and life itself, commit to marriage.
As much as I love the dresses, the flowers, the tables and
all those delicate details (believe me
I do) it is the ceremony and speeches that I love the most. It is always a
privilege to watch as the curtains are momentarily drawn on the couple and
their families. A wedding is often the only occasion when adults publically
articulate - in words as much as ceremony – to their friends and family that
they love one another so much they’re going to spend the rest of their lives
together. (Even better, at most weddings, the how and why of this momentous
decision are often covered too.) In sickness and in health. For richer and for
poorer. Come what may, they’re going to
do it together. And if that’s not cause for champagne, cake and dancing, I’m
afraid nothing is.
A post on weddings has been in the pipeline or, more
accurately my head, for some time but today seems particularly fitting to indulge
my inner romantic. For one thing, today
marks three years to the happy day that Mr G and I tied the knot
ourselves. I can’t quite believe three
years have passed but then I remember what has happened since that day and it
seems plausible. In particular the fact we share our apartment with a two year
old and I’m six months’ pregnant, drives the point
home.
My ever-swelling belly is actually the other less selfish reason
I’m indulging in a little wedding sentimentality today. The NABM household is expecting
to increase its headcount by one in November and the timing means I will miss
out on not one, and not two, but THREE weddings that I can say with absolute confidence
will be utterly spectacular. Naturally I will pore over photos and demand
detailed recaps from other friends and the couples themselves in an attempt to
vicariously absorb their celebrations. But I will miss out on the speeches and
the ceremonies and my goodness I will miss that.
Do you love weddings? Or did you read this and think I’ve
lost my clucky mind??
1 comment:
I loved this post! I'm getting married in March and this has made me so excited.
Gillian
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