A well-timed break

I arrived home on Thursday night with every intention of sitting down to blog. I've had a thousand ideas flying around my head for weeks now and was eager to put fingers to the keyboard. In spite of my intentions, after putting Miss I down to sleep, I couldn't bring myself to face the computer. Instead, I was drawn to the book beside my bed. I couldn't help it. I was exhausted. I lay down and relished the chance to be very still and very quiet. I couldn't summons the energy to stay on my feet to eat, let alone formulate a sentence. So reading it was.

I was frustrated because I knew the background noise would continue humming. Blogging is a relaxing pursuit for me; a hobby that helps me unwind. But it requires my mind to be switched on and lately I'm constantly looking for the off-switch. I still scan conversations, newspaper articles, websites, blogs and all my idle thoughts, for topics on which to blog. It's a subconscious habit. But because I'm having trouble finding the energy to convert my thoughts into actual blogs, they fly around getting noisier and noisier. 


On Thursday night, before I got too frustrated, I had a little think. I remembered what I'd been doing at work and very quickly my mind's desire for blank space made sense. It made me want to lie very still for even longer. One of the highlights of my job is that I spend quite a bit of time interviewing very clever people who tend to be pretty knowledgeable in their chosen fields. Now, obviously, I don't need to be as clever or knowledgeable as them. (If I was, no doubt I would be running companies, presiding over courts and presenting at conferences, like they do.)

But for my conversations to be of any value to our magazine's readers, I need to understand their field at least to the extent that I can ask one or two relevant questions. And preferably be able to follow their conversation to shape it into an article. Dipping in and out of foreign topics, quickly trying to understand the subtleties of whatever the interview requires, is tiring.

Last week between Wednesday and Thursday I interviewed two American judges, a US professor, an English Lord, the managing partner of a global law firm visiting from London, the chief executive of a software developer, three partners and a director of strategy and innovation at a large company. I spent between 20 minutes and an hour with each of these clever cats who talked to me about everything from litigation support technology, to the rule of law, to the financial correlation between productivity and creativity, to the economic and political climate in India, China, England, Europe, Japan and Australia. And many other things I am still trying to understand.


It left me shattered. I thought back to when I started blogging, when the chance to write a coherent sentence was the only exercise my brain would get. Towards the end of my two years out of the workforce, I relished having a chance to think. Now, I relish the chance not to think. It reminded me of the joy of television at the end of a working day. And the even greater joy of holidays. Fortunately my mental capacity has coincided with a few days off from work. Perfect timing. What do you do when you reach your mental limit?