Five years in.

Five years ago tomorrow I enjoyed one of the very best days of my life. I married Mr G. Three days later we hopped on a jetplane and flew across the globe to begin our married life in a rather lovely English town. Fortunately the love and laughter from our wedding day has served as a marshmallow around us for the five years that have since passed.

As I’m sure you can relate, our marital life has been steeped in light, fluffy, sugary goodness since we tied the knot. Is there anything that can ever cast a shadow over the luminous love a couple enjoys on their wedding day??? Of course there is. It’s called life. And if there’s one thing Mr G and I have enjoyed a fair bit of in the past five years it’s been ‘life’. And while it might not have all been marshmallowy lightness, the truth is, there is nothing that makes me happier, or more grateful, than our marriage.

Between us we have navigated many of life’s joys, a few of its catastrophes, plenty of chaos and much of its daily grit. We have overcome some trivial disputes and some that have been far less trivial.

We have shared some obvious milestones; having two children, moving countries, moving house (twice), starting new jobs, entering our 30s, growing up. Together we have experienced sleep deprivation, crises of confidence, moments of glory, pangs of panic and an incredible visceral love for our girls.  We have shared countless meals, car trips, conversations, arguments, dreams, setbacks and just about everything else in between.     

Every marriage is its own mixture of the best and worst of life – it is shared love, joy, disappointment, pain, grit, excitement, friendship and more. Aside from the fact it’s ours, I realise there is nothing about our marriage that is any different from anyone else’s. Because of that I wondered whether it’s too indulgent to write about. Perhaps it is but earlier today I read something that quite literally took my breath away and made me want to write it anyway.

At the beginning of July Hannah Richell’s husband died while surfing. Her account of the grief that has followed is the most raw and poignant thing I have ever read. Like us, they have two children and on the day she wrote this she had celebrated their beloved 4 year old daughter’s birthday. Without him.

She wrote about the love and life they shared, and the fragility with which she has come to appreciate it was all steeped. Now, she is often overcome with the urge to tell people to appreciate what they have, to live every moment like it’s their last, in case it is.

Her beautiful, wise and moving words made me recognise, possibly more than ever before, the blessing that is simply living life with someone you love. It’s a blessing that can be forgotten, sometimes easily, in the haze of everyday life. It’s certainly slipped my mind on certain occasions.

Mr G and I have had the remarkable good fortunate to enjoy that blessing for almost a decade. It is my most heartfelt hope that we will share many more decades together and if fate is kind I have no doubt we will. But regardless of how our future unfolds nothing will ever change the decade we’ve had together. 

Tomorrow, and this weekend, I will not celebrate five years of sweetness and light. I will celebrate five textured married years with a man whose kindness, love, stubbornness and talents never cease to amaze me. And for that I have never felt more grateful.