Uninhibited and dangerous

Today marks the first birthday of my daughter. It's been twelve months since I made my contribution to the world's population. To celebrate, rather than share a blow by blow description of my labour I thought it would be fitting to share with you our home video of the birth, documenting every last minute of it.

Doesn't that sound wonderful?? No that sounds hideous. Hideous and long. Something I wouldn't inflict on anyone. Least of all you kind people who take the time to visit me here. No there is no video and there will be no details of the birth. Except that it was looooooong. Instead I thought I'd reflect on a few things I've learned since this day last year.

Newborn babies are scary
Especially when they belong to you and you're expected to take them home. On your own. Without a nurse. Without a manual. Without a responsible adult to oversee the project.

I was jointly responsible for overseeing the project
That scared me.

At some point newborns aren't newborns anymore
And it becomes a bit less scary. For about thirty seconds and then they become mobile and it becomes terrifying.

Danger is alluring
I didn't appreciate how intrinsic the human desire for risk is. It's innate. You can remove as many obstacles as humanly possible in an effort to safeguard a baby from itself. You can go to great lengths to ensure their well-being, put them in a room filled with fabulous age-suitable toys, soft floors, baby-proofed corners, cupboards and stairs, buy into every safety gimmick in the world. None of it will deter them. They will defy you and your efforts.

Without fail they will seek out the least appropriate, most hazardous object or situation in the room quicker than you can fasten the safety gate behind you. Hot drinks, pistachio shells hidden beneath furniture (or any other small, highly choke-able or toxic objects), toilets and rubbish bins are just a few of the things my baby is magnetically attracted to.

Faux is not fun
Give a baby a toy remote control, phone, computer or set of keys and expect to have it thrown down in disgust if it's not the real object which you love and rely upon. They know the difference. Immediately. Joy is in the real thing.

Even babies love Apple
As in those of the i-pod, i-pad, i-phone, i-touch variety. Those of the granny smith, pink lady, gala variety do not invoke the same level as passion. At least not in my daughter.

Inhibitions are for grown ups
Play music for a little person and they will automatically sway, bop or move to the rhythm. It's addictive to watch – they hear a tune, they start dancing and usually smiling. Unaffected, candid and completely uninhibited. Except on days like these. Though in fairness she was pretty uninhibited that day too.

Adults and babies are not that different
I've decided that babies are not really that dissimilar to adults. They're just far less inhibited, restrained and complex. On the plus side, they're assertive about having their needs met, they communicate very loudly, if a little incoherently, and they love absolutely unconditionally. On the flipside, they are very difficult to reason with, terrible to shop with and difficult to take out in public.

Although I suppose there are adults out there like that too.